If there is one topic that gets every parent talking, it’s sleep. How much you’re getting, or, more accurately, not getting. How to get more of it. Bedtime routines. Overnight feeds. It’s a topic that could be discussed till the end of time. It’s no different when it comes to breastfeeding and sleep. Here’s what you need to know about your little ones' sleep patterns, breastfeeding and snooze time and creating a nighttime routine that works for you and your family.

There is nothing like the first year of sleep deprivation to really initiate us into parenthood. If there is one thing we can say for certain, it’s that there is NOTHING certain about sleep in the first year of your baby's life. As is the case with many things in parenting, just when you think you’ve got it under control, something will change and you’ll feel like you’re back at square one all over again.

While sleep patterns vary hugely, there are some things that remain consistent, primarily how much sleep your baby requires within a 24 hour period. According to Better Health, a Victorian Government initiative, your little one requires the following amount of sleep in a 24 hour period:

• 0 - 3 months - 12 - 16 hours
• 3- 6 months - 10 - 18 hours
• 6 - 12 months - 10 - 14 hours

As you can see, there is quite a bit of variance in the numbers. And every baby and family will be different.

Just like adults, your baby will have their own unique sleep patterns and sleep rhythms. These will be impacted by their age and other factors specific to their little lives.  In the first 3 months of life, your baby will have no distinct pattern to their sleep. They will sleep whenever and wherever, usually only staying awake for between 1 and 1.5 hours. Your days will have a distinct Groundhog quality to them: feed, sleep, change, repeat. Babies of this age cannot tell the difference between night and day and thus are more than happy to eat whenever they are hungry, whether that is 1pm or 1am. Thankfully, this doesn’t last forever.

As they grow older, you’ll likely be able to recognise some patterns and rhythm in their sleeping. For example, an 8 month old may have their longest period of sleep overnight, interspersed with shorter day time naps.

When will my baby stop needing or wanting to feed overnight? This may well be the most asked question when it comes to breastfeeding and sleep. For the first 12 months of life (and in many cases, beyond that) it is completely developmentally normal for babies to feed overnight. Younger babies need to feed every 2-4 hours and older babies and even toddlers still require the calories and nutrients from milk. Remember, they have tiny little tummies that empty and fill very quickly so it kind of makes sense that they can’t sleep for long stretches like adults do.

Breastfeeding throughout the night is exhausting, especially when the months begin to stack up. On the positive side, breastfeeding is one of the quickest ways to get baby back to sleep overnight, thanks to the hormones that are released during a feed. Many mums find that having their little one in the room with them, as per safe sleep guidelines, means night feeds can be completed quickly and effectively. While feeds may take longer when your baby is very little, they will become extremely efficient as they get older, with many night feeds taking less than 10 minutes.

Many, many mums may reach a point where they wonder if they HAVE to feed their waking baby. It may be that they have woken for the 5th time in as many hours. “How can they possibly still be hungry?” you ask yourself. The thing is, babies wake up for many reasons. Hunger is only one of them. Your baby may wake themselves up and, finding it difficult to fall back to sleep, cry out for their mum for comfort and reassurance. They could be hot or cold. Uncomfortable. Something may have startled them. The list is endless. Whether your choose to feed or not comes down to a number of factors: babies age, when they last fed, whether they’re in perfect health or perhaps coming down with something. For newborns and younger babies, experts will generally recommend that you always feed. When in doubt, whip it out as they say. For older babies six months plus, you may decide that a cuddle is enough to settle them back to sleep if you know they are comfortable, warm and have a full belly. Often you will need to use your own instincts and understanding of your baby to make a decision. For me personally, it was often easier to just feed my baby as it meant we were back to sleep quickly. After about 18 months, I started to impose some more restrictions around the number of night feeds, but until then, we went with the flow.

Another topic that always features in discussions around sleep and breastfeeding, is co-sleeping and/or bed sharing. The terms can sometimes be used interchangeably but generally, co-sleeping is like the umbrella term, and means sleeping near your baby. This could mean in the same bed, in something like a co-sleeper bassinet, which attaches to the side of your bed but offers a separate sleeping space for bub, or in the same room where bub is in their own, stand-alone bassinet or cot. Bed-sharing, as the title suggests, is when you share a sleeping surface with your baby.

We discuss co-sleeping and bed-sharing in a lot more detail in this article here but essentially, having your baby in the same room as you, either in their own sleeping space or a co-sleeping bassinet is considered extremely safe and is recommended for newborns and younger babies for the first 6 months of life. It’s also a sanity saver when you’re breastfeeding around the clock. Bed-sharing is a little more of a grey area. Red Nose Australia, Australia’s leading authority on safe sleep has this to say; “The safest place for a baby is in their own safe sleep space, we do not recommend co-sleeping. However, if you do co-sleep, it is important for you to know the safest way to do it.” When done correctly, following expert guidelines, many of the most common risks can be minimised but it is a personal choice whether you feel comfortable doing so. You can find out more about safe bed-sharing here.

Creating a bedtime routine is one of the best ways to implement wind down time and help your little one prepare for sleep. While newborns tend to stick to their own schedule, older babies thrive off predictability. Creating a bedtime routine helps them to understand that it is time for sleep (as opposed to time to play). A bedtime routine will be unique to every family but a common structure includes bathtime, story, breastfeed and bed. Some parents may choose to breastfeed to sleep, especially during the early months. One of my favourite memories of my children being tiny was the breastfeed before bed when we could snuggle up after a busy day and both relax together. Creating a bedtime routine can also help when it comes time to move away from breastfeeding to sleep. Adding a step between breastfeed and sleep (a book, cuddle with the non-breastfeeding parent or similar) can help to gently start to shift the association between boob and bed. When creating a routine, focus on keeping things calm and quiet. Think lamps instead of overhead lights, minimal stimulation and, if possible, a quiet environment that signals that it's time to snooze.

There will likely come a time when you are ready to move on from feeding overnight. If your little one is onboard with this then you’re in luck. For the majority however, older babies and toddlers will be less than impressed with giving up their 2am boobie. If you’re ready to night-wean and your baby is over 12 months of age, eating and drinking a range of foods and otherwise healthy and happy, you can start the process. There are a number of ways to night wean and each family will need to decide what works best for them.

The two most common strategies are going cold turkey (and often enlisting the non-breastfeeding parent) or gradual reduction. Both are going to involve some annoyance and frustration, likely from everyone involved. Going cold turkey means cutting night feeds completely. You may decide that your last feed will be at 10pm-ish and you won’t feed again till 5am. When your little one wakes in the night, instead of feeding you or your partner will re-settle. This battle will likely take place over a number of nights and it’s likely that you won’t get a lot of sleep. Generally though, the message should start to get through after the third or fourth night of no-boobie. I followed this method and sent my husband in to manage the re-settles. Each time, my child was not pleased to see him and the re-settling took longer than a feed ever had. After a couple of nights however, the re-settles got shorter and eventually, night wakings pretty much ceased. It was tough but I knew that my husband was there to calm, reassure and settle.

Gradual reduction usually involves cutting back the number and/or duration of feeds over a couple of weeks. For example 3 night feeds to 2 then 1, and reducing longer feeds by a couple of minutes each time. This option can take longer but can sometimes be easier emotionally for all involved.

When you start to cut back night feeds, just be mindful of the impact on your own body and mind. Your breasts can sometimes take a little bit of time to adjust to the new schedule so keep an eye on things like engorgement or lumps. Mentally, night weaning can also take a toll. Your body will no longer be releasing as much oxytocin which can leave you feeling more emotional than normal. Things will settle down with a bit of time but make sure you are gentle with yourself as it is happening.

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